somewhere midway through my life’s journey, i lost my ability to prioritize. between apartment hunting, job hunting, art projects started and forsaken, relationships renewed or abandoned, attachments, detachments, the need for solitude, the need to be tribal, the need to be alone, the need to be unalone, the seductive lure and subsequent repellence for technology, the need for direct communication, the need for telepathic communication with people and animals, a rebelliousness, a subservience, a withdrawal, an approach, an achievement, a surrender, a doubt, a certainty, a material desire, an immaterial yearning, a hollow defeat. how is one to prioritize it all?
maybe it’s the humidity, but everything just feels heavier and it’s not the weight that bothers me. it’s not the passivity under that weight. it’s the lackadaisicality.