my friend J and i were chatting (i hate that word) online because it’s just so much easier and free flowing than the phone. actually IM/chat/texting is probably where i am at my best. i’m much sharper, quick-witted, fleet-footed, devil-may-care, insightful, poetic, maybe even authentic on chat/text than i am in person or in any other medium, except for art. and chat is so much easier than art.
j was telling me about her most recent OKCupid date, someone i warned her not to bother with because he asked her to meet him for “margs” (margaritas) or other “creations” (alcohol drinks). i told her, you have to let this one go. But she did not heed my words and met him for “margs” anyway.
And then she texted me afterwards to tell me that he wasn’t that bad. And I thought, wow, J is such a sell-out. But the very next day, she texted me an update that he had sent her an email, telling her he could only imagine her as a possible friend… and wished her all the best.
which made me wonder if that phrase, “I wish you all the best,” might be the most lethal words you can say to someone. Kind of like at the end of a job interview, that moment when your interviewer wishes you “good luck.” you kind of know it’s over. Would it take that much more effort for someone (an interviewer, a date) to simply say, “i am sorry, but you are not at all in any way, shape or form whom I hoped you would be?” Would that not be more generous? at least that would give you the chance to return the apology. Or you could plea, “but I can change!” any of those options might be more civil.
It’s 1:30 a.m. and my mind is getting rather foggy, but i think it is so strange that words that were once used as expressions of compassion have become the worst possible words you can say to a person. i miss the days when they meant something. i even miss the days when they were vacuous. but now, they are so dismissing and callous and cruel. it’s like being shoved to the side. i cringe when i hear them. i cringe when i type them.
i think we should form a movement to reclaim them.