nerxious energy

i’m nerxious about the work week ahead. i’m always this way on Sundays. this dread, this fear that this week, this very work week that begins tomorrow, this is the week where i’ll be exposed. somehow i’ve managed to get by… or at least deluded myself into thinking i am getting by. but this might be the week where my days of getting by are numbered.

but then it occurred to me that even if i really truly am exposed, a large segment of the population would not even notice because they have other things to tend to. which is completely understandable. in actuality i wish i could help them in tending to their things. but they wear so many layers, the last thing they want to do is to bother people, which is what they assume would happen if they asked for help tending to their things. they won’t let me help.

so how do i reach them? i can’t seem to penetrate the layers. my attempts to penetrate feel woeful and inaccurate. but there must be a way.

i just have to be a better listener. at least try to be a better listener. but sometimes it’s hard to listen when they sway the conversation back to me, asking me about me.  and when i talk about me i feel so selfish. because i know i am selfish. but somehow i’ve gotten by without very many people noticing (except for you). but this may be the week when people take notice.

if i could figure out a way to put if off for another week… one more week.

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.
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