vanilla

tonight, as i sit here alone ingesting a cup of vanilla goat milk yogurt, i find peace in imagining myself splayed out on an antique chaise lounge in an opium den somewhere. instead i am here, with yogurt, just about depleted since i began writing this post.

not doing a very good job of avoiding thoughts about my mortality, invoked from yesterday’s scare.

12 hours earlier, i was walking through an alley… where i saw a well-dressed middle-aged white man urinating at the edge of a fence next to a dumpster. as i passed by, he looked back at me and said, “i am sorry if i have offended you.” i wasn’t sure quite what to say, but i replied, “quite the contrary. i admire you for your lack of restraint. i think this takes a certain kind of courage, which i have been missing of late.”

And i walked on, barely missing the train.

all in all, a very insular existence today. as if i am protecting myself from something that doesn’t exist. like immediately deleting a job rejection email without reading it, even though it was written by a friend.

i wonder what it will take to change me.

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.
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