i created a little world for myself where everything felt so free and i just floated through things without that much exertion. i sensed that i had risen above uncertainty and adversity. i thought i had it all figured out. everything was perfect. fogs had been lifted. curtains, too. i really thought i had it all figured out.

and then came a single drizzle of doubt. followed by a moment of toxicity with people whose name shall remain nameless because i have not actually met or identified them. but they were there, menacing, reminding me of the various doorways blocking my way through the vestibules.

i said, please tell me your name. please, tell me why it is you condemn me so harshly. for i am but a stranger here. for i know not what i’ve done wrong, but maybe there’s something you know that i don’t know.

so i began to question myself. and that floaty feeling evaporated. i saw it all eluding me. And I wanted it back so very badly. i wanted to make myself anew. but something was holding me in place. i was determined to move away from it somehow. to free myself of all doubts, fears of the uncertain,

and I said, i will not be deterred, at least i will try. and that will be my calling card.