fight or flight

a day unremarkable enough to write nothing about, but i don’t want to fall into the bad habit of not writing at all. but really, if you happen to be reading this, i would be grateful to you for setting your eyes elsewhere. imagined reader. there are far more enchanting places to go.

i can say i am grateful for being spared the indignities i had considered as possibilities that might arise today,  and how i would respond to such slights and indignities. if there might be another option besides flight because i cannot fathom a fight. but flight… now that is something I can strive toward.

i guess I am a pacifist, but the above paragraph was not any expression of any pacifist ideal… unless self-preservation is a pacifist ideal. i just cannot find fight in my nature. but i like to think I am capable of it, when necessary, at least to protect beings i care about from harm. but fight, as a way for me to get somewhere, to get some thing (like attention or approval)… well, it hasn’t worked out so far. it’s not in my repertoire.

i guess i have fought for my survival, I’ve been told, although I have yet to realize it. i have looked at this from a reverse angle. I have fought against my demise. and when I think in those terms, it’s a daily battle. but a very mundane one. there’s nothing extraordinary about it and there’s nothing disgraceful about it. i am here and i am glad of it.

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.
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