Redemption is real, but seems so far away. What can I do to get there? For decade upon decade upon decade, I have been figuring out ways to not blunder… completely delusional and profoundly limiting.
Shaking things up, subverting automatic impulses, catching myself from falling into obscene habit (meaning, it is habit itself that is obscene). The best habits are the ones that remind me of what not to fall into. Such as disillusionment.
I really can’t say what any of this means. Nor why this is first thing I end up writing about after Obama’s convention speech, which moved and excited me. I can’t say if there is any real connection. Perhaps it’s all about staying adamantly open to possibility. And the hope that one can find can a fractal of human sensitivity and empathy in those who so obsessively seek power. Could this person actually be my friend? Would this person want my friendship? All power aside, could this happen?